Lost- Chronicles of a Mom with a teenage girl


I have been absentee from my life for the last week because I have been lost. Lost in a web of pain, fear, memories. ..
I have a thirteen year old daughter who overnight went from being a sweet and loving young lady to being an angry, hateful, spiteful entitled animal.

She wants to push the boundaries that we as parents put in place to keep her safe and to shape her into a warm, smart, caring and accountable adult and that I completely understand but she refuses to accept any of the responsibilities that come with the freedom she longs for. I try very hard to understand. I remember the emotional turmoil and anger, I was a teenage girl. Hormones suck and friends understand better then I do, I get it.

I talk to her openly and candidly, I accept her friends, I allow her their constant presence in my house even though I often long for a quiet night. I ask only in return that she take responsibility for her friends.  I am not a maid. When I clean up 20 water bottles with just sips out of them, popsicle wrappers, popsicle sticks, half eaten fruit swarming with fruit flies, slushies in the bathroom, dirty laundry everywhere I want to cry. I make deals, give ultimatums, believe the promises only to be disappointed on a daily basis. My sugar and spice and everything nice girl turns to fire and ice and won’t think twice about accountability or consequences if she is not getting her own way.

Don’t I have a responsibility as a parent to love her enough to make her see how important it is for her to respect herself and her family? Apparently not.

According to her friends mother I am wrong. I need to just accept it. What will be will be. That is basically what she said when she showed up at my door tonight with my daughter who had been missing for hours. I had called and messaged her with no response. As a parent if her child were here I would have let her know she was safe.

I had reached my tolerance level this afternoon when I asked my daughter to go. The blatant disregard for me became too much. Being cursed at, talked down to, told that she was going do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.

Her friends talk to me. They are here for days on end. I know what lazy parenting is doing for them and it is nothing good.
I miss my little girl. I realize that I may lose her for a little bit because right now I need to be more of a parent and less of a friend. It is my responsibility to make sure she is safe, not for me to be popular with her. I need to teach her that bad actions have consequences,  not rewards. Honestly is rewarded. Accountability,  learn it. It is a lesson I will teach everyday.  Love. I will love her to the ends of the earth no matter what, even the days when I don’t like her very much. I will teach her the importance of loving herself and being someone she can be proud of.

Maybe I won’t be cool or popular for awhile but I am tough, I will handle it. One day she will thank me, of that I am certain. 

Tonight when she came home expecting a fight I approached her with compassionate grace. I will thank a dear friend for that advice.

I am sad and heartbroken but I showed her that I love her enough to care about the person she comes. Trust me it would be so much easier to turn a blind eye. Parenting is not the easy way out but I refuse to believe it is the wrong way.

One day I will comfort this beautiful girl when her own child breaks her heart into a thousand pieces and I hope that she will step up and be the person she was raised to be.

Goodnight friends,
the uncool mom



The time has come, I am no longer a part of the in crowd. They allow me to hang out with them at mealtimes, probably because I make them the meals. Sometimes they endure my sarcasm and my attempts at hip humor but one by one they disappear because I am apparently not as cool as them, except when i am baking or handing out money. You know the time is going to come but nothing can prepare you for it. One day you are all of the sudden on the outside looking in. My teenage daughter now prefers the company of her friends.

Look at me. I made chocolate chip pancakes and bought all your favorite snacks. I’m cool, ask anyone. In fact I was cool before it was cool to be cool.

My daughter now comes as a package deal. She no longer wants a quiet night in front of the tele while I stroke her hair. Nights in front of the tele include four texting teenagers and I generally am not invited to hang out.

So now i am going to smother my nine year old Haley with all my love and attention. She still thinks that i am the best date in the world and can’t imagine a time when that will change. I know it will, it is inevitable, but right now i am content to stroll hand in hand with Haleylujah at the Taste of Edmonton, enjoying the sunshine and eating treats till our bellies are full of goodness and our hearts are full of love.


Laughed my Ass Off

Daily Prompt: From the Gut

Tell us about the last time you had a real, deep, crying-from-laughing belly laugh.Photographers, artists, poets: show us JOYFUL.Please note that comments are always closed on daily prompts.


Last month we went on a mini family vacation to Nakusp B.C in the Kootenay Mountains.  We are actually on our way back again to celebrate our wedding anniversary so I am typing this on my phone.

We spent a very relaxing night at a fabulous 2 storey chalet overlooking the Arrow Lakes and the mountains.  It was a long drive but worth it. Waking up in the mountains in on my list of top ten things to do. Instead of waking up  when the city is going to work, I woke up to the steady drum of the lake water hitting the shore rocks and a warm mist hanging low over the majestic mountains.  I let my family sleep while I made a pot of strong black coffee, poured the largest cup I could find and climped up to the lookoff to watch the early morning unfold. The feeling I felt sitting there is the same feeling I get listening to Zac Brown Brown (Toes,  playing on the radio). It’s a good life, not a care in the world. A shot of coffee and a lungful of intoxicating mountain air.

My husband is hilarious,  sometimes I am too busy to one hundred percent appreciate his humour but there is nothing quite like a genuine belly laugh. The world’s most natural medicine. I always tell myself  I am going to live  in the moment more. Laugh when it’s funny, dance when I like the beat and actually take the time to see the things I look at. My husband works up North and is gone for ten days at a time so occasionally it is essential to take a break from the routine that sucks the life out of us.

I made a glorious brunch while singing along to the radio and eventually the allure of bacon roused my family from their slumber.

We cleaned up and toured Naskusp. We all experience that same feeling in the mountains,  like time is suspended,  it is very freeing. We decided to visit friends in Burton, another remote town in the Kootenays. They have a nice property and being there felt so homey and comfortable. My daughter Morgan and I decided to go for a little walk and her being a city girl she wasn’t at all content to walk in the woods. I think she watches too many scary movies at her sleepovers because when I went into the woods to inspect and take pictures of what appeared to be a small abandoned cabin she freaked out “Are you trying to get us killed”

This just made me want to be silly and poke fun at her ridiculous fears. Scenarios of doom and gloom and the possibilities of what heinous events could take place in the creepy little cabin flowed out of me as easily as the clouds hung in the sky. I decided it would be fun to take some pictures for Instagram to document our near death experiences in the woods. Morgan thought I was CRAZY but got caught up in the fun of it all as we gathered fallen trees for props. When I tripped during my antics we both were overcome with giggles that soon turned into full blown hysterics.  The early teenage years are so hard, it felt like forever since the two of us laughed like that. I was full blown crying and snotting. It felt good. We needed it!!

This trip started rather rocky with a collision with a gaggle of geese on the highway so hopefully that is the end of our bad luck. The sun is shining and we are driving in the heart of the rocky mountains. Tomorrow I will wake to the mountain air and carefree days that I crave.


My husband and I just played the Michael Jackson Thriller CD and sang a duet to “The girl is mine” He was Michael to my McCartney.  “…the doggone girl is mine!” I don’t remember it being that cheesey. So funny.

Cheers to love and laughter. If you have nothing else in the world but those two things you are richer then alot of people.

Feel Everything