Flower in the sun-Wise Project 2018 – #TenaciousTuesday

Good Morning,

Today is a bit of a cheat day, we are fresh off a long weekend here in Canada and I spent yesterday being incredibly unproductive and eating everything I could get my hands on. My girls and I were having a hilarious conversation about crushes and asking for what you want and my oldest daughter said I was a Badass because I wasn’t afraid to ask for what I wanted and my youngest remarked that I had so much confidence that no didn’t bother me, I just bounced right back. Sometimes I wonder about the line between Badass and just plain ass but I am excited that my perceived badassery might inspire them to go after what they want in life and not just in love and relationships but in every aspect of their lives. No is not always a rejection, sometimes it is merely a redirection and in any case no does not have to reflect poorly on anyone; the person on the giving or receiving end. That being said I was writing a bit of fiction, fiction is actually one of my great loves, I love creating characters and scenarios. The one I have created below is very light reading but it is cute and fun and if it inspires one person today to find their version of brave and put themselves out there, without fear of the word no but in awesome anticipation of what grows on the other side of our fear than it will be a great Tuesday.

Thanks for visiting and go get what you want today!

xo

Michelle

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Ed’s Diner, Photo Credit Telegraph U.K.

She was cute and fresh looking with just the hint of freckles across the bridge of her nose and scattered randomly on her face as if a happy accident with a brush and paint had lightly splattered them there. Her dark wavy hair was so shiny he could almost imagine how it would feel between his fingers. She had it pulled it back in a ponytail that moved from side to side as she talked and laughed. Her knee length floral dress hugged her in all the right places, showing off her small waist and fuller bust and then flaring into a flirty swing skirt. She could have effortlessly played the part of the girl next door in a 1950’s chewing gum commercial.

She smiled easily at everyone she encountered, her gentleness drawing exuberant smiles from even the most unlikely of candidates. Watching her from a distance he felt like a bit of a voyeur, peeking into her world uninvited.

He sipped his coffee, accepting a refill as the waitress walked by and loading it with full cream and sugar. It was still early, and the sun was just beginning to peak above the horizon, sending filtered light bursting through the restaurant windows. A rush of cool late summer air announced the opening of the door every few seconds and as he glanced in that direction he noticed that the sky looked like a tequila sunrise, a glorious golden peach color drizzled with hot pink throughout.

“Pretty sky this morning,” the waitress remarked following his gaze as she arrived to set down his scrambled eggs and brown toast and refill his coffee once again.

“It is, and thank you” he replied, nodding in the direction of the eggs and smiling.

He devoured the eggs and toast, pushing the plate aside to finish the last couple of mouthfuls of slightly burnt tasting diner coffee from a dingy off-white mug. He checked his phone messages again and took a sly selfie to make sure there was no food in his teeth or beard. He proceeded to nervously fumble with a small tear in the cherry red vinyl seat while avoiding going to the counter and fumbling over his words like many a time before.

Her name was Lily. She had once told him that she was named after her mother’s favorite flower and then looked at him expectantly to tell her his name. He ruined the moment of course and left feeling like a huge jerk but the next time he was in he blurted out “Trey” while she had her head down. She was thrown off guard for a moment, but he continued to speak what he had rehearsed, without daring to take a breath, “I was named after a childhood friend of my parents from D.C. who went on to be a novelist and playwright”

He sucked in a quick breath and looked up. Her eyes, as welcoming as the green fields of Ireland, seemed to be smiling at him as she held her hand out, “It is nice to finally meet you Trey.”

He came in every Tuesday since that day, waking up at an ungodly hour to beat the rush of the city traffic. He sat at the same booth and ordered the exact same breakfast and made the same incredibly awkward small talk with Lily while paying his bill that she rang in on the same outdated cash register.

He always made sure his suit was neatly pressed, his tie was on straight, and he had on enough cologne that he smelled manly but not like someone’s creepy uncle. He was well groomed; he had even started using beard oil and getting his hair trimmed more frequently. He was very aware that his dark skin was quite a contrast to her cream like complexion but he didn’t anticipate that being an issue, as it had been in the past.

As his legs somewhat unwillingly walked him to the counter each week he imagined every time that this would be the day that he asked Lily out and today was no exception.

“Good morning Trey, it looks like it is going to be a beautiful Tuesday!” she remarked, turning the corners of her bright red lips into a dazzling smile and looking straight into his warm chocolate colored eyes.

“Beautiful. Indeed,” he muttered, feeling like his throat was suddenly getting scratchy, and then quickly over analyzing everything he had intended on saying so opting to say nothing at all. He was certain that his brown skin was now a fiery shade of red as he stumbled to form a sentence while using the debit machine. Lily waved goodbye, still smiling at him with her wondrous eyes but looking a bit disappointed he thought.

As he got into his shiny silver Mazda a flood of frustration threatened to drown him. It was August 26 and he had wanted to ask Lily out for the past 35 Tuesdays. Today was supposed to be the day. He was going to celebrate his birthday knowing that he had a date with the girl whose smile had rocked him to sleep every night for the past several months. He completely blew it. He was a 34-year-old man with less courage than a twelve-year-old boy. It shouldn’t be this hard. There were three possible answers she could give him, yes, no or maybe. He had asked out girls before but had never considered dating anyone seriously since Jenna ripped his heart out and stomped all over it. Something about Lily made him believe that being with her could out weigh the risk of heartache. He longed to feel again, and he imagined feeling all sorts of things with Lily. Unfortunately, every time he got close he found himself in the grip of uncertainty and fear.

He realized he had been sitting in his car in the busy parking lot for fifteen minutes and was going to be late for a meeting. He scrambled to text a colleague when it occurred to him that he didn’t have his phone, he had left it on the counter while he paid his bill.

He walked into the diner and was greeted by Lily’s genuine smile and outstretched hand.

“I thought you would be looking for this she said,” placing his iPhone in his hand.”

“Thank-you Lily. You saved me. Have a wonderful day.” he said, turning to leave.

“Wait Trey,” she shouted as he opened the door. She came out from behind the counter and met him where he stood, “I put my number in your phone, and it’s under Lily, same as your pass code. Just in case you ever want to text me.” She smiled again and very softly touched his hand before turning on her heel but turning her head back just slightly, “Oh, and Happy Birthday.”

He was still smiling as he got in the car, even though Lily had out classed him by far. He texted his colleague first and then texted Lily thanking her again for returning his phone and asking her if she had any interest in going for birthday drinks with an adorable but hopelessly immature guy.”

She simply replied “Yes.” And then a moment later “Finally”

Hopeless minds and

hopeless hearts

are haunted places

where

no one loves to stay.

~Kwawaja Musadiq

Romeo and “just a minute….” W.I.S.E. Project 2016

Kirk and I

Relationships are hard. I don’t have a PhD but I do have 18 years of experience in the same roller coaster relationship. So trust me, I know things.

We expect a lot from relationships and too often we expect to get more out of a relationship than we put in. The probability of getting credit for more than you have deposited is unlikely. If you put five dollars into the bank you cannot withdraw twenty. It is not rocket science. We are all smart people here but admit it, when you got married you expected something a little more Cinderella-ish as opposed to a Hitchcock horror movie where you are constantly fighting for your life. You’ll make it, but not without work and sometimes it is harder than you can ever imagine. Sharing your bed and your bathroom and peeing while your spouse shaves looked a hell of a lot sexier in your head than it does in real life. Nobody told you that you might have to compromise…a lot. Even on stuff like pizza toppings! Nobody told you that you would face more fears and insecurities than you did when you were single. All of the cards we got at our wedding said “have a wonderful life together” They didn’t say that some days your greatest struggles in your relationship and your greatest frustrations would be an opportunity to not lay blame, but to confront yourself. It seems easier to keep a running tally of your spouses shortcomings and invest in the belief that their issues are the only thing standing between you and that fairy tale marriage you once dreamed about but if you allow yourself self awareness you will learn to be more compassionate to yourself, and in turn your spouse. You may not love finding dishes and socks strewn all over the house but it will not break you. You cannot change your spouse, no matter how much you cry, nag, scream or throw things; you will waste so much valuable time trying to change people. If you want change, change yourself!

I am devoted to my husband. I have been with him for almost half of my life. The experiences that we have shared together have been transformative to every aspect of our lives. We started out as these young fools that thought we knew everything there was to know about everything and we couldn’t have been more wrong. As we grew as individuals sometimes we grew apart and sometimes we came together. We didn’t always show each the other the consideration we deserved but somehow we soldiered through to the place we are now and it feels like a good place where my heart is safe and full.

I can’t say why I decided that my husband was the one, why I was willing to put in the hard work and to allow him to slowly chip away at the walls I had built up over the years. I am not even clear if it was a decision at all or if it was beyond my control. I do know that I had no idea what a real adult relationship was supposed to look like and wouldn’t for a very long time. We got married and exchanged rings bounding us together forever and subscribing to the age old notion that two had become one.

The fact that for almost 18 years we have committed to work through problems as they arise (and they keep coming) shows that we truly aspire to achieve full intimacy, the kind that is not corroded by years of stubborn resentment and abundant expectations. I have chosen to evict years of hurt and anger from my brain and live in the here and now. My husband will undoubtedly piss me off again and I will without question drive him to the brink of absolute madness. We will love through it; and move on until the next jackass thing comes up. Ahhh…marriage.

When my children were born there was nothing more miraculous than those experiences. I was overcome with such intense love and emotion for these wondrous little creatures with their perfect fingers and toes, soft bodies and faces that were so animated yet completely void of pretense or fear. I spent endless amounts of time just looking at them, entirely captivated by their very nature to just exist and be happy doing so. It is an incredulous experience to be overcome with a love so pure. I guess it is similar to the way I fell in love with my husband, it wasn’t something that I decided to do, it was unavoidable. I was weakened with this sincere and eager feeling that distracted me day and night. In fact I tried really hard to not fall in love with him, I liked being single and I was pretty determined to not allow the existence of mysterious forces to take that from me. Apparently my defenses were feeble against these enigmatic powers and would continue to be many times over the years when I tried to battle against them. Sometimes love hurts and I admit that over the 18 years of my relationship with my husband I would try several times to struggle against it to no avail. I have loved him through all of the times, even the ones I didn’t like him very much, often neglecting the importance of loving myself.

I would describe most of my relationship with my husband as fiercely passionate, amplified by the fact that my husband worked away for many years and we all know that separation makes the heart grow fonder. My husband is also a Scorpio so he can be ardently intense! However there are also periods of time that we are slaves to the mundane daily tasks of working parents. sometimes marriage is boring, but at a certain point you really come to appreciate knowing what comes next.

Romantic love often thrives on separation because of the fantasies that we create during absence. Unattainable love can be quite thrilling but it can also be impersonal and wrought with bitterness and distress. Though there is an incredible amount of energy in passion, if we do not have the courage to make a real connection, to allow ourselves the abandonment of our mental inhibitions and our selfishness then we will never turn our romantic love into true lasting love.

From the beginning of time there has been darkness at the center of passionate love. In classical myths and literature such as Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights, one possesses their lover completely in death only. Trusting in this type of passion glorifies a lifetime of unhappiness and life is too short to be anything but happy!

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I have been distracted on more than one occasion by the delightful agony of passionate love. We endorse this type of feral romance in books, music and on the big screen everyday. It can be torturous but it makes us feel wildly alive.  Though we use our bodies to connect and relieve loneliness and frustration, believing in the meaningfulness of our rampant romance, we rarely allow ourselves to  be open enough to  dissolve the walls we have built around our heart to protect us from hurt. So when the fantasy starts to fade and problems emerge we are left with the realization that we barely knew the person at all. The truth is we didn’t, we didn’t get to know them and we barely allowed our guard down enough for them to know us. When you look back on failed relationships were you ever willing to be vulnerable enough to allow true love to grow? If you are honest you might be surprised at your answer.

A long term committed relationship takes a certain amount of courage to let down your guard, to love, to forgive and to share your space. As a young woman emerging into adulthood I relied on a deceptive belief that to make someone fall in love with me I had to be everything they wanted. I had to like their music and share the same hobbies and beliefs. Compatibility is based on a lot of things but not on becoming a completely different person to attract another. It is an impossible charade to live up to and very damaging to our spirit to align our thoughts and beliefs with another to a point that we are giving up the beauty of what makes us unique and special.

There are so many things I wish I had known years ago but there is always something to be said for learning the lessons the hard way. The been there, done that, bought the friggin t-shirt approach gets you to the same conclusion eventually. If we have any intention of enriching love and deepening our relationships we really need to begin with ourselves. We are not responsible for our significant other’s happiness, decisions or well-being.  To be in a fully committed and loving relationship we need to relinquish our clingy need for dependency. Relationships thrive when we nurture and support our partner’s without solely relying on them for our contentment and wellness. Chains of love are chains just the same.

I am sure you have all been told on occasion “you cannot love another before you fully love yourself”. You may have even repeated it to a friend when you thought they needed to hear it. How much of what we hear, repeat and even believe do we put to use? I have said that phrase to countless people over the years. I was free with advice that I never seized myself.

When we are in a committed relationship, or a marriage, we do not become one. We share a common space of mutual responsibility, sharing and joy but we still preserve our individual space and we are completely independent individuals. I always wonder if couple’s with joint Facebook accounts truly believe that they are one person, sharing a mind? If you respect and trust your partner that will allow you to afford them independence, than being together and spending time together becomes a choice instead of a chore.

One of the most important things I have learned in my marriage is that love is being present. The most precious gift you can give the one you love is your presence.  Presence in the here and now. I spent a great deal of my relationship stuck in the past, tormenting myself with old hurt and agonizing over the future. I would allow these worries to invade good times and ruin them. To put it in black and white it seems ridiculous but I know a lot of you fail to enjoy the present moment because you are apprehensive about what tomorrow will bring or you are still clinging to the bad thing that happened yesterday or five years ago.

“The past is no longer there; the future is not here yet; there is only one moment to which life is available and that is the present moment” –Buddha

Nothing annoys me more than when I am having a conversation with my husband and I have to keep repeating myself because his attention is focused elsewhere. While researching relationships it was very sobering to realize that I am even guiltier of doing this. If you have ever spent a moment wondering why your significant other doesn’t confide in you more, ask yourself if you are present when they do? Are you playing with your phone, making a mental grocery list, thoughtfully planning what you would do if you won ten million dollars? If you are consistently not present, your lover will bore of confiding in you and you will get the same attention when you confide in them. We want to be treated equally in a relationship but often what we really mean is that we want what we want when we want it with minimal effort on our part. We are setting ourselves up for failure.

Learning to be mindful and live in the present we are not stuck revisiting the pain and the mistakes of the past or torturing our worried minds about a future that is not here yet. Instead we are mindfully enjoying our time together in the moment. It takes a lot of practice to mindfully embrace each moment with a willingness to accept things just the way they are. Once they have happened, we cannot change them but if we allow ourselves we can enjoy the moment or learn from it. Either way we accept the experience.

You can look for love and happiness everywhere which is the equivalent of looking for love in all of the wrong places. Love and happiness resides inside of all of us. My capacity to create joy and be in a healthy, committed relationship comes from loving and accepting myself. Loving myself and investing in myself really does allow me the choice to completely love another.

From the very beginning of my journey to be more mindful and create a life full of happiness and joy I knew that my relationship with my husband would need some examination. Looking back on what I have learned about marriage, from years of being in one, it is amazing how little either of us knew about relationships and what it meant to be in one when we said “I do”. I didn’t even know what the basic principles of a relationship really were and spent years of tortured angst believing it was my responsibility to make my partner happy, instead of subscribing to the notion that I was accountable for my own happiness, as he was his. Building enduring and gratifying relationships depends largely on our ability to extend warmth and kindness to ourselves. It is foolish to expect someone to love us unconditionally if we do not entirely love ourselves!

“They say marriages are made in heaven. So is thunder and lighting”

                                                                                  ~Clint Eastwood

Unbreakable Chapters 3 & 4

CHAPTER THREE –What is and what should never be

The funny thing about memories is that they never really go away. They sit at the back of your subconscious waiting for a trigger, and then they quickly flood back to the forefront of your being. Sometimes it’s a song or a smell that brings it all back. This one hit her quick, like a punch in the gut. She remembered the very blue of the sky on that June day and the way the sun kept hiding behind the fluffy white clouds. They were walking on this very boardwalk when her father scooped her up into the air. She giggled and held on tight as he picked her up and swung her around in the air. She didn’t talk much about them. Maybe people just assumed she’d forgotten. She would never forget. She remembered her mother’s goodnight kiss so feather light, the way she moved when they danced, how green her eyes were when she was happy. She remembered her laughter and the smell of her perfume and the way she crinkled up her nose when she was disgusted. Her memories of her dad brought a smile to her lips; the easy way he carried himself, his humor, his bear hugs and silly voices and the way he never let her mother win an argument. She would never forget how it felt that day. Her dad had been busy with work and they hadn’t seen much of him in weeks. Her mother was beaming. Her eyes lit up when she smiled. It was ‘fun day’ at Weirs Beach and they had a fabulous time. They rode the water slides at Surf Coaster, took a day cruise around Lake Winnipesaukee and ate the best barbecued ribs ever at J.T.’s Roadhouse.  She would always treasure that feeling of warmth when her parents tucked her into bed that night. She was a fortunate child who didn’t want for much but it was the simple things she always appreciated the most, like time with her family. Less than six months later they were gone. In an instant they were taken from her and her once safe, happy world was empty and cold.

Thank God for Blanche and Danny and the life they gave her. By all accounts her parents had been very wealthy.  Her father at the tender age of thirty was a real estate developer. Mostly corporate real estate, he built office buildings, and high-rise condominiums. Before Natalie started school she traveled quite frequently and was in the company of some of the worlds most astute businessmen.

Life in Lincoln was much simpler. Blanche made sure that she had everything she needed but she also taught her and Danny the value of a dollar. From the time they were young they had chores around the house and they were often asked to help out at the diner. Blanche was a proud woman. She worked hard for everything she had and instilled that same ethic in her children.

He came back just then with their snow-cones catching her misty eyed.

“Is everything okay?  He asked, puzzled.

She motioned for him to sit down beside her on the Boardwalk bench, “I was just remembering the last time I was here with my parents.”

His slow smile encouraged her to continue, “Tell me about them Nat.”

For the next little while they sat on the Boardwalk talking about their lives, their hopes, their fears. They talked about her deceased parents, his miserable absentee dad, their plans for the future.

NASCAR mania had begun to descend on the popular beachfront town of Weirs Beach and activity on the boardwalk increased. Travelers from near and far were walking billboards for the sport and their favorite drivers; sporting t-shirts, hats and flags. Natalie and Johnny were drawn in by the excitement both having followed the sport since they were children.

“Have you ever been to a live race,” Johnny inquired.

“Just some pro-stock and local short track races when I was a kid. My Dad’s company used to sponsor a short circuit racer so we traveled to different tracks when I was small but never a NASCAR event.” She replied.

“Me either,” Johnny continued. “My Mom is not much of a fan. I’m sure we’ll both get to go someday.

_______________________________________________________________________

The breeze dissipated in the late afternoon and the carefree teens spent the latter part of the afternoon beating the sweltering heat riding the slides at Surf coaster. They squealed like children playing water tag and Johnny won a blow up lounger in the slider racing challenge. They wrapped up their water park adventure on the lazy river. It was near closing time and Johnny looked at her deviously.

“We could hide in the bathrooms and get ‘accidentally’ locked in here for the night.”

“That would be so much fun,” Natalie exclaimed excitably, “You’ll think I’m a huge moron but I always wanted to get locked in the Trafalgar theater and watch all the classic movies”

“You like old flicks?” Johnny asked.

“I love them. Something about being transported back in time. My mom was a huge movie buff so I grew up watching all the classics,’ she said wistfully.

“I’ll be honest,” Johnny began, “I’ve never really seen any of the classics but Wuthering Heights is paying at the drive-in here tonight if you’re interested?”

“Are you kidding? I read the book in school this year and I saw the movie with my mom when I was little. It’s such a classic love story. Are you sure you want to go?” Natalie asked.

“Love story huh?”

Natalie laughed, “Change your mind?”

“Absolutely not! I’m seventeen, it’s about time I broadened my horizons.

They agreed to go get dinner and call Blanche to see if it was alright if they were home late.

CHAPTER FOUR- More then a feeling

Gram Millers house was a quaint Victorian style cottage a short walk from the beach. It was her childhood home and although her family would prefer that she move to a seniors complex she was adamant that as long as she was living she would take care of herself. She had raised her family here with a man she loved. There had been some lean years and she had gone without many luxuries to keep her home. Sadly she realized that she was getting to a point in her life where she knew that taking care of herself was getting increasingly difficult but she wasn’t yet willing to give in.

The Miller women were sitting on the veranda sipping iced tea when Natalie

and Johnny returned.

“You kids look like you had fun,’ Gram Miller exclaimed.

“We went to surf coaster. It was a blast!” Johnny replied enthusiastically, leaning down to kiss his grandmother.

Johnny’s mom poured them iced tea and motioned for them to sit down.

Nora Miller felt much older than her thirty three years. Married at seventeen and divorced before her twentieth birthday she missed out on those carefree teenage years her son was now enjoying. Though she envied him that she certainly wanted him to experience all that life had to offer. Even though she had given up a lot of herself over the years she lived for and through her son. She remembered in those early days when John walked out on her, her son was her saving grace. She woke up to see his smile each day; she would kiss his forehead when she tucked him in at night and hope that his dreams were pleasant. His blue eyes were always so full of wonder and surprise. He was curious of the world around him and that had continued to serve him well throughout the years. Johnny was always anxious to try new things and see new places. Nora remembered fondly the scout trip he took to Washington when he was eleven years old. He was the only boy in his chapter to raise the thousand dollars need to take the trip and he did so of his own ingenuity. The framed picture sat prominently on a table in her living room. It showed her young son in his redskins ball cap standing proudly outside the gates of the White House. She looked at him now at seventeen. He was tall and handsome with a smile that could melt ice. She felt a sudden tug at her heart when she thought of his father at that age. His smile was the first thing that attracted her to him. He was always so happy in those days. ‘Probably drunk!’ she thought, thinking back. She had long ago given up the notion that he and Johnny would form a relationship. Johnny had little interest and her ex no longer had the inclination to get out of his own way. For almost fourteen years she had been mom and dad. She made dinner, she tossed the football around the yard, and she went to the ball games. Now her own mother was getting older and she faced the reality that quite soon she would be caring for her mother and son full-time. Her mother had always been her support system and she owed her as much but secretly Nora dreamed of a life of her own. Essentially she was a young woman and she dreamed of the kind of freedom and romance till now she’d only read about or saw on TV. She had never been outside of the New England states and she had never even gotten her driver’s license. She had become quite dependent on Johnny since he had gotten his but she knew it wouldn’t be long before he got busy again with school, sports and his own life. She made a decision right then and there to invest a little more time in herself.

“Penny for your thoughts Ms. Miller.” Natalie interrupted her thoughts

“For Goodness sake Natalie, please call me Nora.”

“OK Nora,” she replied, “I caught you lost in thought.

“It must be the heat dear. Speaking of, it’s to hot to turn the oven on so we’re going to have sandwiches and strawberry shortcake.”

“Sounds good to me,” Johnny rubbed his belly in mock starvation.

“I’ll help you Nora,” Natalie stood.

“I’ll entertain Gram,” Johnny stated.

“I’m sure you will. Nora winked at him.

The ladies made ham and cheese and cucumber sandwiches and an incredible dessert of strawberry shortcake on homemade biscuits. Nora joined Natalie and Johnny after dinner as they tossed the football around the front lawn. Johnny was a precision thrower and caught the ball with ease. Nora allowed Johnny to play junior football and he excelled at the sport. Nora was amazed at his speed and agility and encouraged his love of the game at every opportunity. She had never been fascinated with sports growing up but for Johnny’s sake she decided to take up an interest so that they were able to converse about it and therefore she was able to stay involved in his life. Football was his passion but he also participated in soccer and rugby and was a die hard NASCAR fan.

It wasn’t long before the heat put a damper on their football toss.

Nora took Johnny aside, “Honey I’m going to say here with Mom for a couple of days so you and Natalie can drive home when you like.

“Is Gram OK?” Johnny asked.

“She’s fine, I think,” Nora began, “I’m just a bit concerned about her mobility and her forgetfulness.

“Natalie and I aren’t going home until later anyway; we’re going to the drive in.”

“What are you seeing?” Nora asked.

“Wuthering Heights.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah seriously. Natalie’s a huge classic movie buff.”

“Well you’re quite a gentleman,” Nora beamed, “I hope you enjoy it. It’s one of the most beautiful love stories of all time.

“Ah Mom, I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” Johnny teased.

“I used to be.” She answered wistfully.

Johnny hugged her then. A little tighter than usual she thought.

“Wait, wait,” she yelled after them as they got in the truck, “does Blanche know you are going to be late?’

“She does.” Natalie replied

“Hey Mom, why don’t you settle Gram in and come with us.”

“Thank you but no,” Nora replied, “Didn’t I raise a good boy Natalie?’

“You sure did Ms.; sorry, Nora.” Natalie answered awkwardly.

“Mom I’m not just being polite. We’d be happy to have you.”

“Go on you two. I’ve got things to do. Besides Johnny, one pretty girl should be enough for you.’ At that Nora turned and walked up the flower lined path to the house.

_______________________________________________________

Dusk came early and the air cooled as quickly as the darkness fell.

“Mom was right you know,” Johnny remarked casually.

“Right about what?” Natalie asked.

“That you’re pretty,” Johnny said, avoiding eye contact.

“Well thanks,” Natalie replied sneaking a sideways glance at him. When she noticed the blush on his cheeks hers immediately flared bright red.

Thank goodness for the distraction of the movie. It was the original movie, a masterful adaptation of Emily Bronte’s classic novel, Wuthering Heights which brilliantly told the tale of the tortured love affair of Heathcliff and Cathy. It was a powerful tale speaking of the depths of passion and what hatred and revenge can do to a soul. Under a moonlit sky the two friends sat together closely and quietly as the tale of the unrequited love of Cathy and Heathcliff unfolded. She recalled a childhood memory of being curled up on the sofa with her mother and the beautiful Catherine was telling Ellen that she and Heathcliff had become so much a part of one another that it was hard to tell where one person ended and the other began. She had always tried to be the right kind of girl, who married well and resisted passion, but by nature she was wildly passionate and uninhibited, like Heathcliff. On the big screen looming lifelike out of the darkness Cathy spoke from her heart “He’s more myself then I am. Whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same. Linton’s is as different as frost from fire. My one thought in living is Heathcliff. Ellen I am Heathcliff.” Natalie’s eyes filled with tears, maybe at the memory of her mother, maybe because Heathcliff left before hearing Cathy’s admission of love or maybe at the thought that you could love another person so deeply that you felt they were a part of you.

To be continued

Very soon I will be protecting these posts with a password. If you wish to read further please message me # michd@live.ca or leave a comment and I will send you a password. Thanks for following! Michelle