changes – Dancing in the rain!

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Stevie Nicks

I was driving home from work yesterday and I caught myself singing along with Stevie Nicks on the radio. I kind of startled myself and not just because I have a terrible singing voice but because I was singing “happily”

The last several days had been grey and dingy and I had resigned myself to the fact that we had bypassed autumn all together and were going straight into a buckle down, bundle up Western winter. Then I noticed as I was belting out the line “Can I handle the seasons of my life? That it was sunny, the early snow was melting rapidly and some of the trees were still decorated with the red and golden leaves of fall.

I was a bit taken aback by how quickly I had accepted that fall had come to an abrupt end and that winter was here to stay. It was more than putting on boots and sweaters it was a mindset that I get into to prepare me for the days to come. Hello to the dark, the cold, the treacherous driving conditions, and a lot less sunlight. Somehow my memory recalls that after I shovel and take off the layers of clothing that there will be cozy fires, warm drinks, soft blankets and good books.

I realized that as humans we handle the changes in seasons the way we do the seasons of our life. I know that some of us hold onto the longing and regret that comes with change but I am trying my best to handle mine with grace and gratitude.

When I think of the first hint of spring and the new buds on the trees I think of my transformation from a child into a teen. Everything was new and fresh and endless, from the buds on the trees to my blossoming bosom.

I think of summer as my early twenties when a day at the beach and making memories was more important than bills and responsibilities. With sunshine in the sky and a bikini on my bottom I was ready to take on the world. I think of fall as adulthood, when the days have a more structured routine, they are abundant with color and rich with opportunity but the hint of winter is in the air, hanging over us like a threat, warning us that we need to be prepared for what may come. I liken the changing trees to our changing bodies, the look of youth leaving our faces. Our wisdom, our happiness, our fears and our worthiness all etched in the fine lines in the corners of our eyes and the edges of our minds.

I feel like the foreboding of winter lurks in the shadows always, we need to be ready and willing to change at a moments notice. Relationships, jobs and experiences are fleeting. Most people experience more than one job and one love in their lifetimes and without that willingness to change, to grow, to risk heartbreak, where would we be? Time makes us bolder, we have seen a lot of falls turn instantly into winter. We know when to bundle up and how to weather the storm.

Enjoy the seasons of your life and don’t spend your life awaiting the storm. Have your boots and your snow shovel in the closet and if the storm should come you will be ready and when it passes you can sip wine by the fire and sing Stevie Nicks tunes at the tops of your lungs. Summer is always just a memory away.

Michelle

My friend Chris Thomas over at On the Light Side of Gamification posed some questions to me on my post Game called life. If you haven’t read the post check it out and you will see why he asked me these questions. I encourage everyone who reads this post to answer the same questions. Even if you are shy about posting the answers I think that they will really help you if you truly desire to be happy. I am a firm believer that everyone has obstacles in their lives but sometimes the biggest obstacle to our own happiness is the person we see when we look in the mirror. The happiest people in the world are those that build bridges and “get over it!” So take five minutes to truthfully answer the below questions, you may be surprised about what you learn about yourself.

I am listening to Mozart piano Concerto No. 23 while I type this. The grace and lightness of the piano is helping to even out my late night 711 coffee high.

If you don’t know what Gamification is don’t feel bad, neither did I before I became acquainted with Chris. In short Gamification is the use of game thinking and game mechanics to engage users in solving problems. Gamification is used in applications and processes to improve user engagement, return on investment, data quality, timeliness, and learning. You can learn more HERE

Chris is an enthusiastic, engaging and conscientious young man. I am pleased whenever he visits Dancing In The Rain and leaves me imaginative comments. He has endured and overcome a lot in his young life and he is someone I admire. Chris has been very supportive of my blog so I was pleased that he posed these tough questions to his audience and to me directly.

I think we all need to be idealists and realists. Idealists when we think about our aims and about the world we define our aims on. Realists when thinking about the steps we need to do to get there. You see, Idealism without Realism is dreaming and Realism without Idealism is dry, uninspired, never innovative, never leading to a better world, simply good work. Only by dreaming and breaking down your dreams to realistic steps you will really make a difference and enjoy a meaningful activity -Chris Thomas

HERE GOES

1.What are my personal aims?

My personal aim at the moment is to find a good balance in my life so that I give as much to myself as I do everyone else. Therefore I will be happier, less stressed and accomplish more of the things that are important to my me and my well-being! I would like to be more active, take care of our money better and finish something that I started years ago that is very dear to my heart.

2.What are things that I like to do?

I love to spend quality time with my family, read and write and invest time in the relationships that bring me joy.

3.What are things that I don’t like to do?

I do not like to put the laundry away, wash floors, pick up after my kids constantly and I don’t like to tire myself out getting stressed about these things. I also dislike driving in roundabouts (rotaries, traffic circles) which makes driving certain places a challenge because they intimidate me and I will avoid them whenever possible!

4.What am I good at?

I am good at writing (I believe) I find being honest very freeing. I am also good at supporting people and things I care about and putting people at ease in stressful situations.

5.What am I bad at and do I want to change something about it?

I am bad at keeping promises I make to myself due to my terrible time management and I am making efforts to change! I am also bad at hole punching which my former boss and friend likes to remind me. I have no desire to change this because I never desired to me a master hole puncher and every time she punches a hole in a piece of paper she will think of me fondly.

6.When do I feel happy?

I feel happy most of the time but mostly when I have fulfilled my commitments and everyone around me is pleased and happy.

7.What is it then that makes me feel happy?

Being present in my life, managing the details so that everything gets done and my family is satisfied and I am content. Spending time with family, friends and writing!

8.Is there any chance to trigger the reason for that happiness more often (e.g. by changing your workplace, join your working place community (or found it) or invest more time in a particular spare time activity)?

There is definitely a chance for me to be happier more. I need to be accountable to myself, keeping promises I make to me, managing my time better so that I get to do all the things I want to do and saying no to things that I do not have the time to take on. Being productive makes me very happy but I often let my noisy brain slow me down. I often plan too many things at once resulting in me getting emotionally tired!

9.When do I wish to change something and why do I think this change is impossible instead of trying to go for the change?

I don’t think anything is impossible. The word itself says “I’m Possible”, Audrey Hepburn Quote. As I said above I am my biggest roadblock. I need to hold myself accountable for making the necessary changes to make all the pieces of my life fit together like a completed puzzle. I have made some steps, the biggest one was quitting my job 15 months ago but there are other changes that I need to make. I am fully aware that nobody is responsible for my happiness but me!

10.When do I blame others and could I not do something about solving the problem myself if it is that important to me?

I try not to blame others for my problems except if they are not contributing their share, therefore making my job more difficult. I have high expectations and I feel a responsibly towards things (for e.g. my volunteer work) I think this is a weakness for me because I sometimes bite off more than I should be comfortably chewing and inevitably my “time management” goes out the window.