My life in song

I was sifting through photos on my phone and realized that three times since Labor Day I have worn white. Not just a little white, white from head to toe. In my defense until today the weather in Edmonton has been in the high twenties so it has been difficult to accept that summer is over. Anyways, I am not sure who I am to apologize for this fashion faux pas but here it is my sincerest apologies. I hope that my oversight can be overlooked.

Now that that is out of the way….I am supposed to be starting a Time Management course but alas I will do anything to waste time and I am at my daughter’s Voice lesson with no Wi-Fi. So there!

I had mentioned in my Hole in the World post last week (if you haven’t read you can read HERE) that most of my life could be described in an Eagles song, whose couldn’t really? Always up to the challenge I drew some random Eagles songs out of a hat and I am going to type the first thing that comes to mind.

  1. The Long Run– I hate to run out of toilet paper. It’s one of those things that I don’t like to even get close to running out of. I can let the milk run out, but not the toilet paper. It stems from having roommates throughout the years that NEVER EVER bought toilet paper and if I went away for a couple of days I would inevitably come back to NO toilet paper. I always wish there was a “Long run” of toilet paper, the roll never emptied, it would never run out!
  2. Victim of Love-We have all been a Victim of Love at one time (or several). I became a victim when I was about 12 weeks pregnant with Morgan. I started to turn my nose at things that I once loved. Friday night Nacho night was banished from our house altogether and smells that once soothed me made my stomach sour. I can’t remember how it happened but I fell hard and fast. The object of my affection was Heavenly Hash Ice Cream with sliced up bananas. Yummm. Calcium and potassium. Our food affair continued every night until after Morgan’s birth and then eventually fizzled.
  3. After the Thrill Is Gone-As you can see from above the delectable affair fizzled, “After the thrill was gone” the affects were lasting. They lasted on my stomach, ass and thighs.
  4. I Can’t Tell You Why-There are lots of things about me that I would like to examine but I just “Can’t tell You Why”. Why do I cry at sad movies, why do I cry at happy endings, why do I panic when approaching a traffic circle, why do I dream that I am a CIA agent and then wake up exhausted with bruises? Why do I still have a sooky blanket? I Can’t Tell You Why!
  5. Wasted Time-Nobody knows how to waste time like me but “sometimes wasted time can be time well wasted” If I enjoyed it was it really “Wasted Time”?
  6. Take it to the Limit-I got my first credit card at 19. I had it for quite a while before I used it. I thought it was a good idea to keep a hold of it for emergencies. One day Visa called and asked me if there was a problem with my card. I explained that I was just saving it for emergencies. The lady on the other end of the phone seemed mystified, maybe even a little offended. I waited for two days and then started spending. I decided to “Take it to the Limit”.
  7. Busy Being Fabulous-This is the reason why I have trouble managing my time “I’m just too busy being fabulous!”
  8. New Kid In Town-I have been the New Kid in Town. It can be exciting and scary. It is what it is. When I was in grade three I moved and started a new school. There were already two Michelle’s in my class so the teacher decided to call me by my middle name which is Anne. I hated it, I was Michelle, not Anne. I felt so out of place and I was miserable. I didn’t tell my mom so she wasn’t aware for several weeks until the teacher called because I had locked myself in the class washroom crying.
  9. Get Over it– Marital advice “Get over it” I wish I had had this advice years ago during the early years of my marriage. I spent so much time holding onto hurt and anger that I never allowed myself a lot of room to be happy. If you want to be happy “Get Over it or Get out!”
  10. Tequila Sunrise-Who hasn’t seen one of these? I was about 20. I lived in London, Ontario and I was crazy about this guy I was dating. My friend and I joined him at a hotel bar one night where his friend was bartending. Someone mentioned tequila and I was game. We started with shots and then his bartender friend just started free pouring cups full. That is really all I remember except for waking up in my shower in the wee morning hours. Tequila makes me feel dirty! Our romance eventually faded away but we would always have “Cuervo Gold”

That’s all I wrote.

Under the light of the moon-Movies on the Square

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I love Sir Winston Churchill Square in the summer. The city organizes all sorts of family events and festivals to bring people to this downtown meeting place. Last night the offering was Movies on the Square, a free screening of Despicable Me on a huge blow up screen.

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The fun commenced long before dusk fell. A D.J. lit up the popular downtown mecca with the sounds of summer, Polynesian dancers delighted young and old alike, even giving mini dance lessons to those willing to shake their groove thing in front of strangers. Free hoola hoops, beach balls and sunglasses were a hot accompaniment to a summer evening that’s weather could only be described as “close to perfect”.

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Families delighted in face painting, balloon making, outdoor chess, table tennis, a bouncy house slide and some cooled off in the city hall wading pool. Food trucks offered tasty delights such as pulled pork, hot dogs, pizza, mini donuts and no movie night would be complete without hot, fresh popcorn.

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In addition to the Amphitheater seating families brought fold up chairs and blankets to ensure a comfy and cozy movie experience under the stars. It was a wonderful night, even long before the movie started my teenager told me how much fun she and her friends were having and the youngest loved the beachy atmosphere.

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A crowd favorite was Spider Man who talked and posed for pictures with all the children. Lots of prizes were given out, I won glow in the dark bubbles 🙂 The movie commenced around 9:45 when nature struggled to dim the lights on a magnificant summer day.

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Movies on the Square will be back on August 30-31. Tips for first time movie goers with young children, It is a long night, the movie does not start till dusk falls. Bring cold drinks and snacks if you are looking for an inexpensive evening. Weather can change quickly, pack cozy blankets and sweaters. Looking for more info about movies on the Square and other city events see HERE

Cheers. Happy Sunday!!

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Deep Fried Brains

It seems everything is reality show these days. I thought it would be a good night to chill and watch TV with the girls. A dating show hosted by Jerry Springer should have told me everything I needed to know but Morgan likes it and sometimes I need to relent. The show is called Baggage and one single man was presented with three single ladies that he might want to date. Each had three suitcases, small, medium and large with the baggage they carry around in their daily lives. One girl lived with her Mom and shared a room with her sister, one had such bad credit she couldn’t get her own apartment and the other owned a copy of every magazine that Tyra Banks was in. You could just feel the awkward discomfort because the guy didn’t want to date any of the women who were proving they were dateworthy by batting their fake eyelashes and shaking their asses. I cannot say I am a better person for having watched this show. During a commercial break an ALL NEW episode of Honey Boo Boo was advertised. I was shocked that this show is still being aired let alone in production. What are we doing to our brains? I am in a Friday funk. I feel I had to at least write something and maybe this admission of my hideous time wasting would somehow redeem me. Live and learn. Yay I am a cliche!!

I think I will eat some pork rinds and watch Jersey Shore reruns while petting kittens and writing poetry. 

Night All

YOU HAVE ISSUES- Top Five Most Bizarre people

My day started with a news feed full of the negative, mindless ramblings of an old acquaintance who is convinced the world is out to get her sits around all day on Facebook fueling and feeding her own drama and misconceptions about what life is, was, should and will be. It certainly got me thinking about the wonderful and positive people that I have in my life and even those who are not so positive, but I love you anyway because I see a spark of hope and hope is fantastic.

I thought of my colorful friends past and present, like Woody Allen written characters, perfectly flawed and real, finding their way through trials and errors in this big bad world. If everyone on my friends list (real and Facebook, Twitter, WordPress etc…) were exactly the same life would exist in one very dull shade. I prefer to live life in BRILLIANT color and therefore I try my best to find a good and common ground with everyone I meet.

I am working extremely hard to become less judgmental, and in doing so I have realized that meeting people from other planets can be as simple as having a conversation with that frazzled bed-headed lady in the fleece Betty Boop pajamas in the slow-moving line at Wal-Mart. Opportunities for growth are all around me, in every pink fuzzy slippered, haphazardly dressed possibly from another dimension person. Tolerance and patience are key. However there are times though when I say “Woaaa, hey, this person is too fucked up for me” Unfollow, unfriend, unlike, whatever it takes to stop the madness.

All things being relative I was thinking of an old friend who considered himself an artist of sorts and used to make pictures with his own blood. That is a little creepy and messed up. So brace yourself because this shit is about to take a weird turn around the cuckoo bush. I found some of the weirdest people I could find and I am going to share them with you. Don’t thank me yet.

1. Jennifer Weigel is an American “multi-disciplinary, mixed media artist” who makes art using her own crimson wave (period blood), urine and toenail clippings. Her previous work consists of pressing her bloody vagina onto watercolour paper, and her most recent piece is a self-portrait painted with her menstrual blood. Ick! (Courtesy of Thought Catalog, Find out more http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/i-make-art-out-of-my-own-period-blood/

2. Kailash Singh, from India is known as the world’s most smelliest man and he has not bathed in over 38 years. Find out more at Oddity Central, http://www.odditycentral.com/news/worlds-smelliest-man-hasnt-bathed-in-38-years.html

3.Everard Cunion , An odd man who couldn’t find a life partner so he married a doll. The fun never stops. Find out more http://www.odditycentral.com/news/man-decides-he-cant-get-a-real-woman-settles-for-realistic-looking-dolls.html

4. Wang Xiaoyu- China’s upside down Kung Fu barber wanted to add some innovation to his list of skills. He cuts hair upside down and can stay that way for up to 20 minutes. Find out more http://english.cctv.com/20090520/110140.shtml

5. Dennis Avner -The Cat Man or his preferred native American name “Stalking Cat” spent a significant amount of money on body modifications to make himself resemble a Tiger. Find out more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking_Cat

SO BIZARRE

The world is but a Merry-Go-Round

What goes up, must come down

People are high, people are low

People are a mess wherever you go

How about a grin. just bare it

You can act or you can sit

Enjoy the ride or

Ride with the tide

You be as crazy as you dare

I’ll be sane but meet you there

I’ll cross my heart, while you hope to die

I will never look you in the eye

In a world that’s odd you’re not so rare

Your mind is like a springtime fair

The joys of a mind forever free

You’ll never be as weird as you wish to be

  Michelle DeBay

MURDER AND THE MIXED TAPE

Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they add up to the story of life.” ― Rob SheffieldLove is a Mix Tape

We all know that Video killed the Radio Star but the murder of the mixed tape was swift and malicious. Society killed the mixed tape and society should be ashamed!

Many of my young memories are tied to the production, giving, receiving and listening to the mixed tape. In the good times, bad times, sad times and fast times, in every season, for every reason we could count on the mixed tape to help express our feelings.

I am about to watch Perks of being a Wallflower for the first time and I hear there is a mixed tape scene so I am excited for that. In the meantime I called my husband to see if the mixed tape I made for him had any impact on our budding relationship fifteen years ago? Some strange man answered and said he found the phone on the ground. Groan!! I should have asked the stranger with my husbands cell phone his thoughts on the mixed tape but he sounded a little scattered.

I LOVE the part in No Strings Attached when Ashton Kutcher makes the period mix for Emma. BRILLIANT!!

The Actual Period Mix 

1. “Evenflow” – Pearl Jam
2. “The Tide Is High” – Blondie
3. “Red Red Wine” – UB40
4. “Sunday Bloody Sunday” – U2
5. “I’ve Got The World On A String” – Frank Sinatra
6. “Muddy River” – Johnny Rivers
7. “Bleeding Love” – Leona Lewis
8. “Here Comes The Flood” – Peter Gabriel
9. “Red Rain” – Peter Gabriel
10. “Waterfalls” – TLC
11. “Red Red Rose” – The Weepies
12. “Red Tide” – Neko Case
13. “Why Does It Always Rain On Me” – Travis
14. “I Love You, Period” – Dan Baird
15. “Just A Girl” – No Doubt
16. “Here Comes The Rain” – Eurythmics
17. “Everybody Hurts” – R.E.M.
18. “Stormy Pinkness” – They Might Be Giants
19. “Time To Flow” – D-Nice
20. “Blood Is Thicker Than Water” – Wyclef Jean featuring The Product G&B

Guys this is some good thinking!

I am off in search of retribution for Mixed  Tapes everywhere. Over and out :/