Hubby and I met friends the other night at a local pub to play pool and as is usual for me, one drink goes in two come out. I.P. Frequently is my pet name! I was sitting in the stall and a woman entered the one beside me and sat down with a thud. She was peeing almost immediately, before her ass even touched the crapper seat and letting out long-winded, uncontrollable pee farts. I snickered loudly and when I realized I hadn’t done so in my head I felt bad and didn’t want to embarrass the mad pee farter so I pretended to be laughing at a conversation I was having on my phone. I know, I know, I am juvenile, faking a conversation was even more mature than the actual loud snickering but farts are funny, especially after you add a double vodka to a stressful week.

I was recounting the story to my husband and he asked if I had Poop shoes when I worked at the Soccer Centre. I laughed, asked him to repeat and then laughed again at his hilarious explanation. I had never heard of Poop Shoes. Apparently I have been out of the “office culture” loop for too long!

URBAN DICTIONARY
poop shoes
the pair of shoes you put on when taking a dump at the office, so no one can identify you under the stall.
matt: who blew up the handicap stall on 5, bro?

rey: it was me, bro!

matt: nah, dude was wearing neon dunks, bro.

rey: yo! them’s my poop shoes, bro!

matt and rey: ahhhhhhhhhh. yea, bro!
by pied pooper July 19, 2011

Apparently this Poop shoe thing is a big deal and may in fact have been stared by the great one herself Oprah Winfrey!

Oprah Winfrey > Quotes > Quotable Quote
Oprah Winfrey
“I have a special pair of poop shoes under my desk. Whenever I need to drop a deuce, I slip them on and scurry to the restroom, and no one ever knows it’s me. Like, if I’m wearing Louboutins that day, and my producer sees Earth shoes in the stall….well, you get the idea. It was truly a lightbulb moment when that came to me.”

― Oprah Winfrey

It got me wondering how many people actually do this? What kind of shoes do they use? How often do they switch out their poop shoes? Are they nice shoes or “shitty ones” excuse the pun?

I can imagine women everywhere sneaking their Poop Shoes into their purse, clenching their butt cheeks and taking quick but careful steps to the bathroom to release the Poop Storm!

In defence of Poop Shoe users everywhere when I worked at the Soccer Centre I had about 30 bathrooms to choose from so it wasn’t necessary for anyone to know how regular my bowel movements were or were not! I always had extra shoes in my office though, for whatever need might arise so had I needed them I would have been covered.

Always looking for the perfect get rich quick scheme I decided to market my own line of “Poop Shoes”

“C’mon ladies, Jimmy Poo shoe Party Anyone?”

“If you feel a rainstorm coming on you grab an umbrella, if you feel a shit-storm coming on you grab your poop shoes” -Michelle DeBay