I heard about The Orange Rhino Challenge from my friend Sandra. My first thought was that I don’t really need this but then I recalled accidentally calling Sandra a couple of days prior while my 13 year old and I were having a screaming match. I do try really hard to keep my cool but I am noticing more and more that my teenager is screaming and yelling. Chalk it up to the age or hormones but it is not right and when I lose control and start yelling it is a bad situation gotten worse. The longer I refrain from yelling the calmer and more in control of the situation I feel. Once I lose it we are not getting anywhere. It doesn’t make me heard any more then the fourteen times I asked her calmly to do something but what it does is escalate the argument to a whole new level and now we have a hormonal out of control adolescent and a crazed mom. It is extremely draining. So needless to say I decided to join the challenge and journey along with my longtime friend Sandra who is working very hard to give up her habit of yelling. Our goal is to go 365 days without yelling.
Friday March 29, 2013 Day 1
I started the challenge this evening and things went well. I was just chilling with the kids, it was a holiday weekend, I had no obligations the next day and we all got to sleep in. The kids went to bed when they were tired so there was no heated bedtime yelling. In the bag….goodnight!
Saturday March 30,
I had a nice sleep in with my husband who made it home for Easter weekend for the first time in five years. I made a lazy brunch and we curled up watching movies. My oldest got bored so I took her to meet friends. I felt relaxed all day and very little pressure. I was even conscious when I was out not to yell manically at bad drivers Lol. We had a nice dinner, picked Morgan up, relaxed and cuddled on the couch. In the bag. Goodnight!
Sunday March 30th Day 2
Happy Easter. Our eight year old was so excited for Easter but it was after 10 am when she woke us up. Well rested I made us a big breakfast while Kirk took the girls to Sobey’s to pick up some last minute dinner fixins and came back with my favorite treat, an extra large black 711 coffee with two hazelnut shots. By the time they returned I had breakfast almost ready and all the pre-prep for Turkey dinner complete. Kirk went downstairs to watch hockey, Morgan played on the laptop and Haley played outside with friends. I was busy all day basting the turkey, doing laundry and wiping Haley’s dirty footprints off the floor. As irritating as it was I kept asking her nicely to take her shoes off on the map…calmly. By the fifth time she got it. We had a couple friends over for dinner and a couple glasses of wine. When they left, Kirk, Haley and I hung out singing tunes while Morgan retreated to the basement. Kirk and I stayed up after the girls went to bed and at some point had a disagreement, or more a difference of opinion Sometimes I forget that Kirk is entitled to his own opinions and I don’t always have to agree and it doesn’t always have to be an argument trying to get him to see it my way. I felt strongly that my opinion was the only right one and I found myself feeling argumentative so I put myself to bed.
Mon April 1. Day 3
Last day of March Break and Kirk went back to Kearl Lake this afternoon. We had had a good and relaxing weekend and I was feeling very confident about not yelling and everyone getting a long. Haley stated pushing my buttons and testing my patience early in the afternoon with her whining and bugging me to get her neighbor friend. I told her they could play outside only. Within minutes they were in the house and they sounded like a herd of elephants in her room. I was feeling testy and I wanted to yell at her so I texted my friend Sandra for support. We had to leave for voice lessons so I called Morgan upstairs from the basement where she was on a TV and uncombed hair marathon. I asked her to unload the dishwasher to which she replied “You called me upstairs for that? I was in the middle of watching TV!!! Why should I do your job?” I very calmly informed her that it would be in her best interest to do as I asked and we left.
We returned to the same mouthy teenager. She had unloaded the dishwasher but she was in a foul mood. Haley dared to ask a question while she was absorbed in a show and she lost it. When I asked her to stop she lost it on me. She had a very loud tantrum and the calmer I was the louder she became. She hated her sister, I was blind and always saw Haley’s side, we should have gone out of the room and left her alone. Loud, louder, louder, she was out of control but I kept my cool. I gave her to the count of five to go calm down in her room before I took her Roller Derby practice away for the entire week. She left, mouthing the whole way but immediately came back to yell some more only to be told calmly again to go to her room. This time she slammed and punched the basement door and was banging the walls upstairs. I came upstairs and tried again to calmly tell her to settle down in her room. At one point I had to hold her arms and tell her to settle down. Somewhere in there is my sweet little girl, I don’t know what happened within the course of a day to bring out this monster. Somewhere between her hurling insults at me and bad mouthing her sister I lost it and yelled. I caught myself really quickly but to be fair I did it. I felt defeated. I managed to finally get her to go to her room and calm down. After a bit we talked and I found out she was in a big fight with her friends and it was weighing heavily on her. I explained to her that our home was our “Safe Place” and she could not scream and yell at us and smash around. Tomorrow I will start over, tomorrow will be a better day!
Head on over to Sandra’s blog to cheek her progress. http://www.mylittleboyblue.com
This is a song me and my co-workers used to sing when we worked in Sales at Leon’s Furniture. During Sales we would be crazy busy and we worked twelve hour shifts and sometimes we encountered some trying customers. I sing this song in my head when I am trying to stay calm and not yell! It’s cheaper then wine.