I love you Stinky Face….
Here it is the middle of the night AGAIN and my plans to get up early and do all the things I didn’t do today seem to be fading away! I am in the basement “Kirk’s Dungeon” surrounded by all the furniture from Morgans bedroom. I left today for half an hour and I came home to this, her attempt at cleaning her room. God bless her she does have good intentions but she overwhelms easy and though she can see the outcome of what she wants the fear of the work to get there slows her down. She told me she has dreams of how her room is going to look when she is done cleaning and rearranging it!! OH boy. I have nightmares about her room. It is filthy and smells of what I imagine dead, rotting people would smell like and is covered with One Direction, Beatles and Roller Derby memorabilia. I am desperately trying to teach her responsibility and accountability by making her take care of her own room, she is after all almost thirteen and thinks she knows everything….why can’t she clean a room??
OK enough about Morgan. She is my sweet sweet girl with devil horns that appear the moment you question her on anything…for example…why her room isn’t clean? did she do her homework? why is her bathroom cupboard full of dirty clothes? I have been assured that this will get MUCH WORSE before it gets better which is I assure you is not reassuring. Oh yeah we are done talking about you MORGAN!! I can hear her now “WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?????? MOMMMMMM”
Then there is Haley. Little miss theatrical. She is a Broadway play all on her own. Our friends are entertained by her and to capture a new audience is such an accomplishment for her. She barely sits still which can be very tiring for those of us in her constant presence. Sometimes I swear she has ants in her pants. She is a delight though, until she gets tired and feels that she is not being fully appreciated and then she can cry on demand. Big, huge, rolling tears and near convulsions in seconds. This often leads Morgan and I to tears of laughter as concerned onlookers watch us laugh as she cries. I always said and I maintain how badly I felt for poor Brittany Spears when the paparazzi followed her around shamelessly and preyed on and documented her every move and parental blunder. How well would any of us fare under a constant microscope? That kind of scrutiny I could not handle. All things being relative though, I will say I have never dropped one of my children when I tripped walking down the street and managed to save my drink and not my child. I did however trip down my basement stairs with a glass of red wine in my hand, land on my belly with the wine and glass intact! This is a moment I am VERY proud of. We all have our shining moments.
I thought of my own Mom this evening as I was making brownies. Haley was going on and on about how jealous her friend Carly was going to be when she took brownies to school, that when she brings my “famous homemade” cupcakes to school Carly is so excited. Haley thinks I am the very best “cooker” ever. The brownies came from a box, as do my “famous” cupcakes. Now I did add some fancy additions to the brownies like chocolate chunks and I swirled them with cream cheese but it was really no great effort. This is one of those rare occasions that with minimal effort you will reap great results. In this respect my kids are easily pleased. My taste buds are much more spoiled because my lovely mother never baked anything from a box, never made gravy from a package, never had a “soupmaker” (or so she says). She never took the easy way out and I bow to her for that.
The girls picked all the vegetables out of their steak quesadillas tonight which drives me mad. As it is Haley will only eat raw carrots and corn. Morgan is only slightly more adventurous, depending on the day and my big boy Jeff will eat carrots and corn but little else. He won’t eat Shepherds Pie because everything is touching. He is very Meat & Potatoes…with gravy!
My husband is gone again. For the life of me I cannot seem to remember where he is, I think he is in Conklin not Fort Mac. He is North of me several hours I am certain of that. I really do have the hardest working husband on the planet. He is certain he is getting Dementia because he forgets things but I think he is just tired and he has spent years jamming his brain full of so much information he needs a break. This month we are taking our first ever “”childless” vacation. A grown up island soiree in Grand Cayman (thanks to my sister from another mother, beautiful Shyleen Ram). White sand, turquoise Caribbean water, late night, late mornings, long walks on the beach talking about our feelings (just kidding on the last part). We are so happy to have been invited to share in the special day of our friend Alex Pash and his beautiful fiancee Michelle Guillemette on October 31 (Kirks Birthday!!) If any of you know Kirk you know that his birthday is a national holiday. He doesn’t expect or ask for much but his birthday is a throw down, a celebration of mass proportions and anything less is just not acceptable. In fact sometimes Kirk thinks my birthday is his birthday, he just gets so excited! I hope he is OK to share his special day. 🙂
I will admit that I am still having a hard time with not working. I love that I get to be a better, more relaxed and attentive Mom and the time I get to dedicate to Kirk when he is home is priceless to me. I think it is still a guilt thing, I have always worked and if I am having a relaxing day I feel guilty. I did turn down an offer to go back to work so NOT THAT GUILTY. I will get over it I am sure. Not too many people get this opportunity and I realize how lucky I am. I get to make my kids lunches and go to the gym while other people are going to work. I can have early suppers while other Mom’s are worried about getting their kids picked up from daycare on time because their day ran late and then they have to go through a drive-thru for supper so they can get the kids to swimming lessons on time. By the time they get home they barely have the energy for a kind word for that husband that is home with them every night. The life we lead is not perfect, as a family we spend a lot of time a part but my husband has gifted me the opportunity to slow down and be better at the things that are important to me, being a Mom and a wife. I am lucky and I know it….i’m not afraid to show it lol
A good friend called from Nova Scotia the other day and I realized that it is over three and a half years since I have been home, in my defense none of you have come here either so there! Nonetheless I will be visiting my hometown in April to meet my new grandbaby. I am going to be a Grandma…wowsers. My big boy Jeff who blessed so many people 22 years ago this coming April 10th is having his own bundle due on that same date! I will also get to meet the wonderful people that have unconditionally loved and raised Jeff and welcomed me into their lives. This meeting will require booze and tissues!! REPEAT.
I may call it a night for now but stay tuned because I am going to tell you the story of my awesome friend PoPo that I am going to be reunited with after a sixteen year absence. Our long stint apart though painful was for our own good because together we were unlikely to grow up and become the wonderful additions to society that we are today. Our history is filled with booze, booze and more booze, me pimping Jen (at least her singing voice) for booze. Tacos on ceilings, grilled cheeses, Rocky movies, love, death, borrowed bicycles, broken noses, bumblebee computer monitors, lost bras, pants that just wouldn’t stay up…….
I just have to find a way to make it Mom and husband appropriate and still worthy of a read. Wish me luck.